This year has been filled with ordinary and extraordinary happenings, but none quite as surprising as the year simply disappearing. It is not uncommon for me to be a bit startled that it is time for holiday decorating. I do have a somewhat flexible relationship with time… it expands, contracts, disappears ,can be interminable, folds back on itself or seems to be frozen in place. But this year, time has completely disappeared, taking at least half of the year with it. Sometime in June, around about the summer solstice, this year seems to have evaporated, turned to particles in a dust mote and drifted into invisibility.
It is challenging to have language to describe or discuss what this occurrence is like. There are tiny vignettes, snatches of conversations, a cascade of laughter, the impressions of color, a feel of air on my skin, but mostly nothing that would look like memories of time. I’ve been wondering if I’ve squandered these times, not appreciated them fully, ignored opportunities. It’s hard to evaluate something you don’t recall. My hope is that each day has been lived mostly in the NOW, fully, completely, absorbed and engaged …. then released as the next moment became/becomes NOW.